Inturdupted thoughts (the bathroom memoirs)

Stink!,Stank!,Stunk!......Tell me about your bathroom experience!

(hold the glory hole stories please)

5/28/09

So Memorial day happened...all I have to say is Chili Dogs! 2 days in a row!

I return to work and find the need to rest my legs in the morning.

One of the guys walks in and says GOOD GOD! (and walks out)

I wash my hands and walk into the back and this same un-named 

person looks at me disgusted and says "I can still taste it!"

5/19/09

So I have this tendency to make fart noises (with my mouth) when someone walks into the bathroom while I am using it. Well today I was freshly perched on the can when a coworker walked in. Recognizing my work shoes under the wall he made a fart noise at me. What he didnt know was just prior to this I had a stabbing pain in my stomach. I gave a little push and what I would imagine it would sound like if you were to empty out a toothpaste tube and try to refill it and then push it back out again with the inevitable air pockets.... well you get the idea! He heard this and said "THAT WASN'T YOUR MOUTH!, THAT WASN'T YOUR MOUTH!". Then he said he was getting out before it hit!

4/22/09

I walked into the bathroom at work today. As I walked to the stall there was a guy standing at the sink about to wash his hands. I started to take my leak and then I broke stream for a second and I heard him say loudly "IS THAT IT?" I had another quick pee burst and was done. The second it was quiet I heard him say "ARE YOU SURE?" I thought what the hell? Is he talking to me? As I opened the stall door I saw him on his phone. I washed my hands and when I saw him I told him what happened and that I thought he was talking to me. We both had a good laugh.

4/21/09

I used to work a lot of shows at the State Theatre in Detroit (I only say this because I want to clarify that I was not there to see the show). It was Halloween a few years ago , ICP (Insane Clown Pose for the uninitiated) were playing. I went into the public restroom to take a leak. As I was doing my business I heard one of Detroit's finest Juggalo's and Juggalette's having sex. He told her to get on her knees and she did. I looked at the floor that had about 3/4 of an inch of piss, puke, overflowed toilets spilled beer and God knows what else on it. All I could think of was the song.....

4/18/09

One time I had a turd so long it hit the hole and then tapped me on the back of the nuts. (no I don't have old man balls)